Drowning on Dry Land
by broodyandcheery143
Summary: Sequel to Asleep at Heaven's Gates. How Quinn and Puck deal with the aftermath of the shooting and giving baby Beth up for adoption. Puck has to put the pieces of Quinn's life back together before it's too late.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the sequel to my other story "Asleep at Heaven's Gates". I would highly suggest reading it before reading this story or else you might be confused. Luckily its not super long like some of my others so it won't take forever to read. **

**I also want to apologize for how long this took to publish. I had no idea I would take so long finishing my other story "I'll Be There". I hope everyone is still interested in reading this.**

**I know the epilogue for AAHG was set a week and a half after the shooting but this chapter actually begins only 3 days after, just so you know.**

**Reviews are always super welcome and encouraged :)**

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><p><span>Chapter One<span>

Emptiness. That is what Quinn Fabray feels. Nothingness. She is numb. Sitting on a bed that really isn't hers, staring at a deep red wall that once belonged to Mercedes' older brother. She has no home. She has no family. And as of four hours ago, she no longer has a daughter.

There's a knock on the door. Quinn doesn't move to answer or even make a noise.

Another knock. "Quinn, its Mercedes. Can I come in?"

Silence. Seconds go by before Mercedes realizes Quinn isn't going to answer. The handle turns before the door is opened and Mercedes is standing in the doorway, a look of utter concern on her face. She tries to hide it but Quinn can see right through her façade.

"Dinner's ready," Mercedes says.

"I'm not hungry," Quinn answers simply. She makes sure her eyes never make contact with her friend's. She doesn't want anyone seeing her like this.

"Are you sure?"

Quinn nods. Mercedes lets out an audible sigh and leaves, closing the door behind her. Tears well up in Quinn's eyes; she thought she had cried all she had left but apparently not.

Her phone vibrates. She doesn't even bother looking at it, knowing its Puck texting her for the hundredth time to see how she is. She knows she shouldn't be shutting him out like she is-she knows he's going through the same pain- but it's so much easier just to shut everyone out than to deal with it.

She must have dozed off because the next thing Quinn remembers is waking to another knock at the door. She sighs; why can't they get that she wants to be alone?

However, Quinn is surprised to find that it is not Mercedes who walks through the door, but Puck.

"Hey," he says. He's standing awkwardly by the door, hands in his pocket. "I needed to come by and see how you're doing."

She just stares at him, perplexed. How does he think she's doing?

Seeing Puck and remembering how alike him and Beth are brings a fresh batch of tears to her eyes. She knows she did the right thing. She had to of. But that still doesn't do anything to help the pain in her heart.

Before she knows it, Puck's at her side. He sits on the bed next to her and wraps her in his muscular arms- the safest place in the world, she used to call them. Now she's not so sure any place in the world is safe.

Tears continue to fall down Quinn's face at a rapid speed. She's crying so hard now she's gasping for breath. Her whole body shakes as she sobs. Puck holds her tighter, bringing her closer to his body. He's crying, too. She knows because she can feel the salty drops of liquid fall onto her scalp. She inhales his scent. It's the usual smell of dip and grass, with a bit of hospital mixed in from that morning. It calms her down a bit.

She's still sobbing, though. Loudly. For a second she's scared she might throw up, but it passes. She clings to Puck's t-shirt. So tight, even, that her knuckles begin to whiten. She knows she's probably pulling his skin, but he doesn't say anything. He just cries with her. He runs his fingers through her silky blonde hair.

"It'll be okay," he whispers in her ear. It tickles a bit, but she doesn't laugh.

She feels her eyes get heavy. She tries to fight off sleep, but it's inevitable.

The nightmares haunt her. Austin, he's everywhere. He's in the school pointing a gun at her. He's in her old bedroom, pointing a gun at her. He's even at Breadstix, pointing a gun at her.

She tosses and turns. And then, just as Austin pulls the trigger, she wakes with a start. She's caked in sweat. She feels a slight pressure on her arm and looks over to see Puck. He's asleep. His face, usually so confident, is turned downwards into a frown. He's shaking a little. He must be having nightmares, too.

She feels bad, just watching him in obvious pain. She shakes him, and he wakes with a start. "What's wrong?" he asks suddenly, still half asleep. He looks around, confused for a minute to be in an unfamiliar room before realization overcomes his face.

"Oh, I must have fallen asleep," he says.

Quinn nods. She's not surprised Mrs. Jones didn't wake him and have him leave. God knows they won't have sex after the day they just had.

They stare at each other for a while, feeling so helpless against the other's pain. Both of them are starting to really ponder whether they made the right decision or not. Is a right decision supposed to hurt this much? Quinn feels as if she'll never be whole again.

She looks down at her stomach. It's mostly flat again, but there's still a slight bump that used to be home to a much larger one. Quinn rubs it gently. For a second she forgets Beth isn't in there anymore.

Puck is staring at her; staring at her stomach as well. How could he ever forgive her for giving up the one thing in the world he loved the most? Their daughter, their tiny, precious, innocent daughter, she's gone forever. Well, to them at least. And maybe not forever, but for eighteen years or more. And when you're only sixteen years old, eighteen more years sounds like an eternity.

She knows he should go; he knows it, too. But he doesn't. He can't. Not until he knows she'll be okay.

They lie in bed together for hours, silent. Quinn can't bring herself to fall back asleep. Not even Puck can save her from the nightmares.

X-X-X-X-X

"Why aren't you at Regionals?" Quinn asks Mercedes the following morning.

"We decided to forfeit," Mercedes shrugs. Quinn knows Mercedes is pretending like it's not a big deal because she doesn't want to upset her even more.

"Why would you do that?"  
>"It just didn't seem right, without you and Puck out there with us." Quinn frowns. "But don't worry, Quinn, there's always next year."<p>

Quinn can't even think about what's going to happen the following day, let alone the following year. But she just fakes a smile and nods.

"Kurt and I are going shopping today," Mercedes says. "Why don't you take a shower and come with us?"

Quinn shakes her head. "I'm not in the mood."

Mercedes puts her hand on Quinn's shoulders and gives her a gentle smile. "It's going to be okay, Quinn."

Quinn feels the sudden urge to yell at her friend. How could Mercedes know? She hasn't been through this. She doesn't know how Quinn feels. She doesn't understand; she never will.

"I think I'll go take a shower." Quinn walks away before she says something she'll regret.

She has no patience to wait for the shower to warm up. She steps into the cool shower and feels the massage of the water running down her bare back. She shudders a bit and waits for the water to warm up.

The water falling from the shower head only reminds her of her own tears. And of the pain she still feels. And at this point she convinces herself it's never going to leave. She is broken and will never be whole again.

Her shower is long. It takes a while before she can convince her body to step out of the warm water. She has scrubbed her body raw. She wraps the towel around herself, careful to avoid the mirror. Seeing the slight bump on her stomach and the stretch marks that are left will only upset her even more. Once her body is covered she wipes the fog from the mirror and stares.

Who is this girl in the mirror? Not her, that's for sure. This girl has large bags under her eyes, from her sleepless night. Her mouth is permanently tilted downwards. Confusion and hurt twinkles in her green eyes. This is not Quinn Fabray. This is a stranger.

Suddenly angry, Quinn jerks her head to the side. She quickly dries herself off and dresses in an oversized t-shirt and boxer shorts.

The quietness of the house envelops her as she steps into the hallway. No one is home but her. Mr. and Mrs. Jones are at work. Mercedes is at the mall with Kurt. Quinn is alone…again.

She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to do anything, really. She settles on the couch and flips aimlessly through the channels. Why does it seem that every damn channel on TV has a baby on it? A show about a new mother learning to raise a baby, a documentary about giving birth, a show about a mama lion and her new baby cubs. One channel after another Quinn is reminded of the life she will never have with her daughter. Frustrated and sad, Quinn turns the TV off. Her stomach is growling but she can't hold anything down. She decides a glass of water is the best she can do. The doctor told her to eat and drink plenty to keep her strength up. Well, at least she's doing one of them.

She still feels sore from giving birth with no medication or medical attention, but the doctor also assured her she would be just fine. "You're a very lucky girl, Quinn Fabray," he had said. It took all the restraint Quinn not to laugh in his face.

Yes, lucky that she had to give birth in her school's choir room with her whole Glee club there to watch and a psycho with a gun hell bent on killing Puck. Lucky that she blacked out from the pain. Lucky that Beth wouldn't have survived if Rachel hadn't known what to do. Lucky that she didn't have her baby anymore-that she was off to be with a happier, more capable family, who had a big yard for her to play in, a tree house, and even an older brother to watch out for her.

No, Quinn does not consider herself a lucky girl. But who considers themselves lucky? No one as far as Quinn's concerned.

She pictures Beth, two years old, large brown curls flying in the wind as her big brother chases her across the lawn. After letting her win for a while, he reaches her and she giggles furiously as he grabs her tiny waist and tickles her. But suddenly Beth is not laughing anymore; she's screaming. Blood runs down the side of her hips where fingernails are digging hard into her skin. Her older brother isn't holding there anymore, but is replaced by Austin. He takes the shining black gun out of the front of his brown hoodie and holds it to Beth's head. "Sorry, Beth, but your daddy must pay," is all Austin says before his finger pulls back on the trigger.

Quinn is awakened with a jolt; the "kick" as they say in Inception. _He's dead, he can't get her; _Quinn has to remind herself over and over and over again. The sun is shining in through the windows in the living room where she was asleep on the couch. She must not have been asleep long because it is still afternoon and Mercedes has not come home from the mall yet. Quinn looks at her hand and notices it is shaking. How is she ever going to sleep again with these nightmares?

Mercedes gets home from the mall soon after Quinn awakens. Quinn offers to help her make dinner, but her attempt is half-hearted at best. As the family sits at the table to eat, Quinn pushes her food around, only eating every tenth bite of food. She feels bile in her throat and stops eating her meal completely.

She can tell Mercedes wants to talk to her after dinner; she just doesn't know what to say. Which is fine with Quinn because she doesn't know what to say either. So they don't say anything except good-night as they go to their respective bedrooms.

Quinn lies awake in bed until she can't resist another night of uncomfortable sleep in a room that is not even truly hers.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed :)**

**Enjoy this next chapter! **

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><p><span>Chapter Two<span>

The next week follows the same pattern. Mercedes tried everything she could think of to cheer her blonde friend up, with the help of Kurt and even Rachel, but nothing seemed to work. Quinn continued to cry all the time and she barely ate. Amazingly, she'd already lost all her baby weight and maybe even more. Mercedes' parents think she just needs time to get over it, but at this rate it seems Quinn will never recover.

Puck comes over a lot and just sits with her, mostly in silence. He's dealing with the grief and trauma in other ways, but he respects that Quinn must deal with it in her own way as well. It kills him, though, that he can't make her smile anymore. That he can't see that twinkle in her green eyes whenever she's happy. That he hasn't seen how insanely pearly and white her teeth are all week since all she does is frown.

The fact that Quinn's parents have not reached out to her at all since the shooting and the adoption only adds to her depression. In her heart of hearts she honestly thought if she gave the baby up her parents would take her back in and they would live as if nothing happened. Now Quinn realizes that was only a hopeless fantasy. She has let them down for the last time and there's no forgiving what she did.

That next Saturday Puck came over and suggested that Quinn move back in with him.

"I am the only one who understands the pain you feel and you're going to need someone near you, day or night, who understands and can talk with you about how you're feeling," he explained, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

If she was anything but depressed she may have given him a grateful smile, but since her mouth seemed to have forgotten how to do that she simply stared at him and nodded.

She thinks about how much more maturely he is taking this whole situation. He isn't wallowing in self-pity like she is; he's doing whatever he can to take care of her. And she appreciates it, she does, but seeing him is just so hard. All she can think about is Beth and wonder how much she looks like him or that he will never be able to truly forgive her for giving their baby away.

She agrees to move to his house mostly out of respect for Mercedes. She knows her friend is trying, but she isn't old or wise enough to deal with the pain Quinn is going through. She doesn't want to drag down anyone she doesn't need to. She's doing this to protect Mercedes, really.

That night she and Mercedes pack up the little stuff she has to her name so she can move back in with Puck in the morning.

"I'm sorry I haven't been a very good housemate lately," Quinn apologizes.

"Don't ever apologize, Quinn. None of what happened is your fault," Mercedes says.

Quinn almost cries, but doesn't, mostly because her eyes are completely cried out and she's pretty sure there's no more liquid left in her body. Even though she doesn't really believe it, Quinn nods anyway and gives Mercedes a hug.

The next morning Puck arrives to take Quinn and her stuff back to his house. She thanks Mr. and Mrs. Jones profusely for the month they allowed her to stay at their house, and she promises to come by and visit often. She hopes she can keep her promise, but she's not sure.

The ride to Puck's house is silent. Quinn knows she should thank him or something, but she's not in the mood to be social.

Puck's house is not big. There are only three bedrooms; one for his mom, one for him, and one for his sister, Ellie. Puck's room is in the basement and he pretty much has that whole floor to himself. He's nice and offers to sleep on the couch and let her have the bed, but she's not pregnant anymore and can handle sleeping on the couch, so she declines.

He also cleaned up last night, she can tell. There are no boxers on the floor or Cheetos bags on his desk anymore. He has two drawers and some closet space emptied for her to put her dresses in, even though she hasn't worn a single dress in a week.

"Apparently school is starting up again on Wednesday," he says, trying to start some sort of conversation. "It's only two more weeks until summer, though, so I doubt we'll do much work."

"Do they really expect us to go back into that place and pretend like everything is fine? Like nothing ever happened? It sounds like my parents are running that place now."

"I know it'll be hard, Quinn, but we still have two more years left at that place. We can't avoid it forever."

"I wish we could. If I never had to step foot inside that school again, I would be happy," she says. "And these days, me being happy is a big accomplishment."

She huffed and sat on the bed, and he joined. He silently took her hand into his and gave it a gentle squeeze. He didn't know what to say to make her feel better. Being here for her when she needed it is all he can think to do. He just hopes it's enough.

Ever since the shooting he has promised himself he is going to be a better man. If Austin did one thing, it was show Puck that he was hurting others more than he ever thought. He doesn't want to be that person anymore, and he is going to do anything to change and be a man his mom, sister, and Quinn can be proud of.

Puck's "Reign of Terror" at McKinley is over forever. Unless someone messes with someone he loves, but that would be for their protection anyway. He's realized life is too short to spend it hurting others when he could spend it loving them instead.

X-X-X-X-X

When Tuesday night came around Quinn began to feel nauseous. There was no way she was going to be able to walk into school the following morning; just the thought made her want to vomit. She told Puck this, but it didn't go over very well when he told his mom.

Quinn was lying on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV when Puck's mom, Anne, came downstairs.

"Can we talk?" she asked. Quinn nodded and sat up on the couch so there was room for the older woman to sit.

"Noah told me you aren't planning on going to school tomorrow," Anne stated.

Quinn nodded shyly. "I'm not ready."

"Look, Quinn, you've been moping around all week, crying and feeling sorry for yourself. This kind of behavior is going to continue unless you learn to face your fears. You'll never get over something until you face it head on," Anne said.

She knew Anne was probably right, only Quinn grew up in a house where you didn't face your problems, but pushed them aside until they became irrelevant. Its hard work getting rid of a habit you've been practicing your whole life; especially when it has worked so well in the past.

"Besides," Anne said standing up from the couch, "If you don't go to school tomorrow I'll have you committed for depression." She smiled at Quinn and walked upstairs.

Quinn knew Anne was just trying to be motherly and look out for her best interests, but she did not like the older woman just then. It angered her that Anne was trying to dictate her life. Even still, Quinn was living under Anne's roof, so she figured she should do what she was told.

That night Quinn had her usual round of nightmares. It didn't help that the couch hurt her back and was hard to move around on.

Puck woke her up for school. Instead of putting on the usual baby-doll dress and matching cardigan, she pulled on some sweatpants and one of Puck's sweatshirts. She looked in the mirror and saw the bags under her eyes had been building up from so many sleepless nights, but she didn't even bother putting make-up on to cover it up. Her hair, greasy because she didn't take a shower the night before, was thrown into a ponytail and forgotten about. When Puck saw what she was wearing he gave her a bewildered look, but didn't say anything about it.

When they got to school, Puck pulled his truck into his parking spot and hopped out of the car. Quinn, petrified with fear, didn't move. Puck grabbed his backpack, but soon noticed Quinn wasn't about to follow him into school so he sighed and turned around, walking to her door. He opened it for her, but she still didn't budge. "I know this is scary, Quinn, but I'll be with you every step of the way." He held his hand out for support. A tear slid down her cheek before she reached out and took his hand. He helped her down from the truck and slid her backpack onto her back. He linked their arms at the elbow and slowly walked with her towards the school.

Once they got to the front stairs, Quinn froze, her heart pounding in her chest. She knew the moment she walked through those doors a million painful memories would cross her mind. She could either be strong and not let it get to her or she could completely break down. Hoping for the former, she nodded to Puck that she was ready and he opened the door.

Quinn was surprised when everything seemed normal as she walked in. Teenagers were at their lockers gossiping. Some were walking to their homeroom before the first bell. She couldn't believe so many people were smiling and laughing in a place that had caused so much death and trauma.

"You okay?" Puck asked, seeing how terrified she looked.

She brought her mind back to reality and nodded. He walked her to her locker where she collected her books. He then accompanied her to her homeroom. The warning bell rang and Quinn knew he had to get going to his own homeroom.

"I'll be fine," she lied.

He nodded and reluctantly left down the hall.

Quinn turned and walked into her homeroom when she was suddenly hit with a painful memory. She had bumped into Austin in homeroom the day of the shooting. She remembered clearly that she apologized and rubbed her (then) gravid stomach. She also remembered thinking it odd his hands went immediately to the front pocket of his sweatshirt; like he had to make sure whatever was in there hadn't fallen out. Then her mind went to the choir room. Austin, he had pulled the gun out of his sweatshirt's front pocket! The gun was in his pocket that morning. Why hadn't she said something? She could have prevented that whole day, but she didn't think twice about what was in that pocket.

Quinn suddenly felt really dizzy. "Quinn, are you okay?" she heard Kurt, who was in her homeroom, ask.

"Bathroom," was all Quinn managed to say before she ran out of the classroom door and down the hall. She barged into the closest bathroom and ran into the stall before vomiting into the toilet. She began sobbing, her body shaking as tears poured down her face.

Why can't she get over this? Everyone else clearly has. Everyone else is laughing and smiling, but she can't. She physically can't and she doesn't know why. Sure, that day sucked. But it's not like Austin was pointing the gun at her or threatening to kill her. So why can't she get the fuck over it?

Quinn heard the bathroom door open. A girl walked into the stall next to her. Quinn flushed the toilet. She walked to the sink and washed her hands, as well as splashing her splotchy, red face.

_You can do this, Quinn, _she told herself, taking a deep breath. She walked back out of the bathroom and swallowed her fear as best she could before going back to homeroom.

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